Culinary Abomination: Kiwi Bread (cake?)

This is why I don't let the kitchen bitch cook.

My mom went to Costco last week and, in an attempt to keep healthier food in the house, bought a bunch of produce in bulk. This has become problematic, as the fruit all ripened at the same time, and no one in the house has yet expressed the desire to consume, say, twenty apples in the span of a week. Still, the apples are tasty enough and I don't have much of a problem snacking on a few a day. The real problem is the twenty or so kiwis that have been sitting in the fridge for a week.

You can't do anything with kiwi, and eating kiwi for weeks now has started to make it unappetizing. You can't bake with it, cook with it, its uses are extremely limited. The only appetizing recipe I found with kiwi was Martha Stewart's kiwi salsa, which I didn't think anyone in my family would eat. But this morning, Alex and I were both bored out of our minds, and decided to give kiwi bread a go.

Let me just say that I was against this idea from the start and had no part in its creation. I was just glad something was being done with the kiwis instead of just letting them rot. I had no idea that the result would be inedible.


(It looks so innocent when it's asleep)

To try and recify this frankensteinian monster, chef genius over here decided to add frosting. FROSTING. TO THE KIWI BREAD.



Just because you made it, you don't have to pretend to like it.


At first, I think he described it as "strange, but not bad."


After the second slice he wised up and proclaimed it "gross."

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Baking: White Chocolate Macademia Nut Blondies

So I haven't really been updating this thing, mostly because I've been working and so I don't really have much to report. Hopefully, now that I have the next four days off, that will change. For now though, here is an old update that I wasn't able to post until now, because I didn't want to spoil the surprise. :)

I always feel kinda weird when I go out of my way to do something nice for other people, which might sound heartless but really I'm just afraid of crossing that fine line between doing something sweet and being a creep. But Kayla and Adena were going on a road trip to visit some friends we went to camp with (I wasn't able to go because I had to work) and I really missed these people and wanted to send something along to them. Which meant only one thing...


It was blondie time.


Hokay. So the first step is to roast the macadademia nuts.


While they're in the oven, cream the light brown sugar and the butter.


Add the wet ingredients to the mixture (or, get your kitchen bitch...um, that is, little brother, to do it for you)


Then the dry ones.

Finally, add the toasted macademia nuts, the white chocolate chips, and voila!



Wrapped up and ready to go.

Recipe is, yet again, from crepesofwrath. (I promise I look at other food blogs, the fact that I've done three crepesofwrath posts is purely coincidence)

Pie and park

This morning I woke up at 8:00 AM, an extremely rare occurrence, to go for a run (something else I almost never do). There are no pictures of this and I can guarantee there never will be. Anyway, there are some really nice trails in the woods near my house, so I was kind of enjoying myself despite tripping over my feet and stopping for breath every five minutes. Emboldened by the beauty of the morning and surprised at my own motivation, I decided to take the "New Trail" instead of sticking to the parts of the woods I knew. The run continued to be pleasant until I turned around to go back and realized that the trail had looped around without my noticing, and I had no way of telling where I was or what direction I needed to go in.

I wandered in the wilderness for an hour (in addition to the hour I'd already run). It was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life and when I finally returned home I had sunstroke and what still feels like 10 million bug bites.

Moral of the story: Don't get up early.

Afterward I went over to Adena's house. She had a bunch of blueberries in her fridge that were going bad, and her mom wanted her to make a pie with them.


On the way to pick up other ingredients, we passed a truck with a sheepdog in it. Which is pretty cool on its own, because sheepdogs are furry and odd. But then we realized it wasn't just a truck with a sheepdog, it was actually a sheepdogmobile, and that kind of blew my mind.


We used this awesome old pie cookbook that contained recipes such as Hoosier Gooseberry Pie, Shoofly Pie, and Impossible Pie. But the basic blueberry turned out pretty well.


While we were waiting for the pie to bake, Adena read tarot cards for me. Discovered that the end of the world will result from indecision. Hmmm...


The finished product


Kayla and I were going to go to Rye Playland, but I'm trying to watch what I spend, so instead we visited Kayla's friend, Jan, in Mamaroneck and went to a park near her house.






We spent the evening catching fireflies

(yes, that black shadow is a firefly in action)





Doing "circus tricks" (or at least, trying to)




Giving each other piggy-back rides around the park (or at least, trying to)


And learning how to cartwheel (or...at least, trying to)








Success!


And the rest of the night? Will be spent with snuggling up with this:


Peace out!

(don't ask)

Adventures in New Haven and Nutella

Yesterday I went to New Haven to see Elizabeth and Max.


This is them with some bubble tea. They always look this intense.


We went to Labyrinth Books, which was having a sale, and where we experienced the most superb customer service (the bell was empty).


I bought this book for $6. It is a scintillating read. An excerpt from the chapter on the Greeks:

'...But later, blindly led by luxury into outrage, they uprooted Carbina, a city of the Iaphygians, made the boys, girls, and women in their prime gather in the temple of Carbina, and there got up a spectacle, exposing their bodies naked for all to gaze at by day; and anyone who wished, leaping like wolves upon a herd into this wretched group, could feast his lust upon the beauty of the victims there gathered.' The gods apparently disapproved of this particular form of sensuality, for presently the debauchees were struck by lightning.

I also bought some shoes at Urban Outfitters.


And Elizabeth got a nifty top.


And this is a picture of my outfit.

NOW. Onto the baking.

We made double chocolate chunk cupcakes with nutella frosting (recipe from the wonderful crepesofwrath), or as Ms. Roberge called them, chocolate bombs. It's a pretty apt name - we each ate one and then couldn't move for an hour. This might have been because we weren't paying attention when we read the recipe, and added double the amount of chocolate. (Oops!) Other than making the cupcakes super-chocolatey, it also made them kinda crumbly and dry, so it's probably not the best idea even if you're a hardcore chocoholic. I also suggest using more nutella than sugar in the frosting, as the sugar can overpower that delicious nutella flavor. And even though the recipe cautions against overcombining the batter, make sure you don't undercombine either, or your chocolatey heaven might be interrupted by the occasional mouthful of baking soda.

Here are some pictures:


The ingredients.




A buttload of chocolate


Nutella frosting.


Fresh outta the oven.


Frosting wars!


Elizabeth prefers her cupcakes elegant and simple...


...while I favor gobs of frosting and Elizabeth's awesome holiday sprinkes.

And that was my day!

Baking: Strawberry Lemonade Bars

I made these about a week ago, and they were absolutely delicious. My mom had just bought a bunch of strawberries for us to use as a healthy snack option, so of course she was thrilled when she saw that I'd turned them into cookies (she was much less upset after she tried one). These are fairly simple to make, though they are time-consuming. The recipe suggests freezing them, though I found I liked them better at room temperature; either way, they are a perfect summer dessert.

(recipe from crepesofwrath)